Writing and Designing Response Advertising

by George Duncan

If obtaining a sale or an inquiry with a direct mail packaging is challenging -- and it is -- accomplishing the same goal with a direct response advertisement is virtually impossible. An ad just sits there on a page in a magazine or newspaper, waiting for the right person to come along, see your ad, stop to read it, accept the premise, and actually respond. There's no 2-page or 4-page letter, no brochure to show the product or describe the service in detail, to offer proofs and testimonials, etc. There's no lift letter, no order form or reply envelope to help things along.

Direct response ads are also known as "long copy" ads - precisely because in writing a DR ad, we try as best we can to replicate many of the selling aspects of direct mail package. We "design" it to include an illustration showing the product in use·a box containing testimonials·another box with bulleted benefits and more, all designed to engage the eye, create involvement, ask for the order - all the things an effective direct mail package does.

The Headline

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the most critical element in an ad is the headline. If the headline doesn't work, the game is over. The question that arises is what kind of headline? And that's the rub. I don't know. You donât know. Fact is, no one knows what headline - of all the possibilities we could write - will pull the best response.

One of the great gurus of direct response advertising was the late John Caples ("They Laughed When I Sat Down To The Piano - But When I Started to Play!·"). Part of what made Caples a guru was the fact that he knew he didn't know what headline would pull best, so he tested headlines! He tested offers, too, as has been suggested in these articles from time to time.

Thanks to John Caples, Claude Hopkins, Max Sackheim and the others who pioneered effective copywriting when space advertising was almost the only response media there was, we have some guidelines to follow when writing ad headlines.

First, a few "don'ts" when writing headlines:

Don't use negatives. (A little humor there. But fact is, most people read negatives as positives. Seems we just automatically drop the negative "don't" or "no" word out of the copy.). Also, approach your product from a positive viewpoint, not a negative one.

Don't try to be "clever" by being obscure. The headline should not be a "teaser" for the body copy, but should be a complete statement in itself.

Don't exaggerate or make extravagant claims. Sometimes, even if the claims are true, they may beggar credibility. Be careful how you word them. If you product doesn't measure up to your promises, you're going to get back most of what you sell, and lose future business as well.

Following are nine suggestions for writing effective headlines, keeping in mind that no one really knows what will work best for your product, in your media, with your production values, etc. Testing is the name of the game.

Offer a benefit. You headline should isolate the single most important benefit your product can provide the user, and synthesize it in a few, well-chosen words.
Try a "how-to" approach. One of the most famous headlines in history is "How To Win Friends and Influence People." It was the headline on the ad, as well as the title of the book, and it launched an empire.
As presented previously in this series, many of the "power words" of direct response work especially well in headlines. These include, "now," "new," "announcing," "at last," and, of course, "FREE!" is still a universal attention-getter.
Questions can be provocative, so long as the reader can't answer "no" in his or her mind.
As with lead generation and qualification, putting the price in the headline will increase the quality of the respondents (but, unless it's a no-brainer, may reduce gross response). Another problem with price, or rather, price-off offers, is that it's you who sets the price to begin with. So how do I know that 30% off is the deal you say it is?
Verbs are still our powerful action words. Use them. (Find, discover, enjoy).
Offering a test can be provocative, and draws the reader into the body copy. Another historically great headline was, "Do You Make These Mistakes in English?" "Can You Pass This Family Health Test?" should be followed in the body copy by a short test that reinforces the practical guidance of the Family Health Encyclopedia (for example).
A testimonial can make a powerful headline if it's short, addresses specific benefits of your product, and if the source is well known to your reader.
Using your company or product name in a headline in conjunction with a benefit or promise, helps with branding since most readers will at least read the headline.

The Headline Group

In fact, the headline is so critical to the success of your ad, that you might consider expanding that vital space with what I call "the headline group". This consists of three parts: an eyebrow, a headline, and an extension.

The eyebrow targets the market for the product. The headline presents the primary benefit. And the extension quickly expands on that benefit with a subhead or one or two bullets.

I'll illustrate with an ad I wrote for a "browser" type of software product designed to allow the user to rapidly scan, select, and place images into a document from a variety of sources on the hard drive.

The product supports QuarkXpress®, Pagemaker® and Photoshop™. So to target those users and get their attention, I placed a corner slash cross the right corner of the ad in red with copy reversed in white: "For QuarkXPress®, Adobe PageMaker® and Adobe Photoshop™ users." This could also have been an "eyebrow," a line of copy coming across left to right in smaller type above the headline.

The headline came next: "Find the right picture, FAST! (Note the emphases.)

Finally, the extension, a subhead that expanded on the basic benefit: "Easily browse, select and place graphics, QuickTime™ and Kodak Photo CD™ images"

The illustration here was a color image of a catalog of images with callouts describing four key functions of the software.

As you can see, the Headline Group does double or triple duty in that highly visible and critically important space over a headline by itself. It works best in a full page ad where you have the room to create it, but there's no reason the concept can't be applied even to display classified ads. Instead of one single idea to engage the reader, it offers several, in both the head and the extension. Often, the extension or subhead or bullet alludes to the offer: "Try it without risk for 30 days."

Use Subheads Throughout

Subheads are the signposts that help readers through the ad. They summarize the principal point or benefit of the paragraph to follow and provide a sort of stepping stone from the headline to the call for action, the coupon or phone number. In a world of quick-take browsers, subheads may be all your reader ever sees, so make them all he or she needs to read.

Use "Brochure" Elements in Your Ad

As mentioned above, you can replicate some of the elements of a direct mail package in your ad.

Three to five testimonials (select short ones) in a box will attract the eye and increase the involvement factor as they add credibility to your proposition.
A summary of six or seven key benefits/features in another box will help to synthesize the story for the quick-readers and add more involvement.
As with a direct mail package, make your call to action stand out with type and/or color and make the response element visible from two or three feet away. Make coupons look like coupons (you may want to test your ad with and without a coupon), with bold borders. Punch up the 800 number in as large a pointsize as is consistent with your overall design (so exaggerate it, if that's still too small).

Copypoints

Make sure you write in second person ("you") throughout, and write in terms of your reader's interests, not your own or your product's. And keep your company out of it, however wonderful you may think you are.

Focus on one primary benefit, not the kitchen sink. Present that benefit from several angles. You can include a secondary point or perhaps two, but work them in carefully. Try being all things to all people and you'll end up being nothing to no one.
In lead generation, focus heavily on the offer·the white paper or other information-based document you're providing. Keep the copy light.
For order generation -- selling something directly off the page -- go for long copy and flog your principal points until you're blue.
As with all response copy, specifics are more credible than generalities. Percent of growth, actual dollar amounts, number of days, weeks, or months.
Use a burst to set off a bonus, or a special price, or a time-limited offer.

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John Caples' 29 Formulas for Writing Successful Headlines

As I said earlier, John Caples was best known for testing headlines. For the sake of continuity, following are his "29 Formulas," some of which we've touched on above, others may seem dated now, but you'll get the idea.

1. Begin your headline with the word "announcing."

2. Use words that have an announcement quality.

3. Begin your headline with the word "New."

4. Begin your headline with the world "Now."

5. Begin your headline with the words "At last."

6. Put a date into your headline.

7. Write your headline in news style.

8. Feature the price in your headline.

9. Feature a reduced price.

10. Feature a special merchandising offer.

11. Feature an easy payment plan.

12. Feature a free offer.

13. Offer information of value.

14. Tell a story.

15. Begin your headline with the words "How to."

16. Begin your headline with the word "How."

17. Begin your headline with the word "Why."

18. Begin your headline with the word "Which."

19. Begin your headline with the words Who else."

20. Begin your headline with the word "Wanted."

21. Begin your headline with the word "This."

22. Begin your headline with the word "Advice."

23. Use a testimonial-style headline.

24. Offer the reader a test.

25. Use a one-word headline.

26. Use a two-word headline.

27. Warn the reader to delay buying.

28. Let the advertiser speak directly to the reader.

29. Address your headline to a specific person or group.

As Mr. Caples liked to say, "Times change, people don't." I think you'll find most of these ideas a valid today as they were when he wrote them. < gd >